What Could Have Been
by tlynnwords
Summary: CS AU: Hook is cursed to Storybrooke and lives in the town when Emma arrives in Season One. He is a bartender at the Rabbit Hole and she starts to realize that he is someone that she could open up to - if she lets herself. This story will follow canon as much as possible so I should probably warn readers that I plan there to be plenty of angst. Remember that Hook is cursed.
1. After the Pilot

**I'm sure this has been done before but I've never come across one. Imagine if Hook was cursed to live in Storybrooke during season one. This chapter starts off right where the Pilot episode ends.**

"Welcome to Storybrooke," the innkeeper said as she handed the key to Emma.

"Come on," the brunette said, "I'll show you to your room." Emma followed her up the stairs until she stopped in front of a room marked with a 4 on the door.

"Thanks, … uh-"

"Ruby," the pretty girl said with a smile. "Granny runs the place but I help her out so if there's anything you need just ask!"

"I think right now I'd like to know where I can get a drink," Emma said.

"Well, there's a diner downstairs."

"Anywhere … darker?"

Ruby smiled and Emma thought to herself how much prettier she could be without all the heavy makeup. "There's a place not far from here called the Rabbit Hole. I think it's more what you're looking for. It's close enough to walk to."

"Thanks," Emma said. She put the old fashioned key into the lock. "Don't see keys much anymore."

"Granny likes to keep things classic around here," Ruby explained. She turned to go back down the stairs. "Maybe I'll see you later."

"Oh, is that where you're going tonight?" Emma asked after her.

"It depends how my date goes," Ruby said with a wink.

* * *

Emma was sitting alone for 15 minutes in her the small, cozy room before she got up with a huff and went in search of the bar Ruby had told her about. She had been right; it was close enough to walk to which was nice considering there wasn't much to do in the rented room.

The Rabbit Hole was just what Emma was hoping it would be – dark and nearly empty. It was a Monday night and with no television screens this was not where the town congregated to watch the football game. There was a couple at the pool table that looked like they were more interested in each other than the balls that had clearly been forgotten.

The bar itself was dark wood and impressively stocked. Emma slid into one of the empty stools surveyed the selection of bottles trying to decide what she wanted to order.

"What's your pleasure?" a deep voice with a British accent interrupted her pondering. She turned towards the voice that had just spoke and was not prepared for the man that was tending the bar. He had hair so dark it was nearly black and his chiseled jaw had just the right amount of scruff. Even in the dim light Emma could see that he had startling blue eyes.

"Whiskey. Neat," she said, pleased that her voice didn't betray her.

"Any particular kind?"

"Something strong," she said. "Surprise me."

He regarded her for a moment before flashing a smile and turning away towards the liquor selection. She watched as his right hand passed over a few bottles before settling on one and pulling it off the shelf. He put it on the bar and as he reached for two glasses she noticed that his left hand was prosthetic. She quickly averted her eyes as he placed the empty glasses on the bar.

"I probably shouldn't even be serving you," he said as he began to pour them each a healthy serving of the dark liquor. "I heard you had a little trouble with the law last night."

Emma rolled her eyes. "News travels fast."

"Small town, love."

"I suppose you're going to report back to Regina that I was in here drinking tonight? It seems like the mayor has quite the long reach in this town," she said as she swirled the whiskey in her glass.

"Not me, darling. You can trust that any secrets I learn are kept." He picked up his glass and held it out. She clinked hers against it and they both took a sip. Whatever he had poured it was not cheap and Emma savored the burn she felt in her throat.

"Well, you won't learn any secrets from me," Emma said.

"I'm a bartender, love. You don't need to tell me your secrets for me to find them out," he drained his glass and she found herself slightly mesmerized by the way he swallowed. "I'm quite perceptive and you, my dear, are easy to read."

"Am I?" she asked as he poured himself another drink.

"You decided to stick around this sleepy little town because you are worried about the boy," he said matter-of-factly before taking another sip from the glass.

"That's not perceptive, that is just listening to town gossip," she said. "No doubt the whole town is aware that the horrible woman that gave up her son is in town."

She suddenly felt very self-conscious as the bartender observed her with cool blue eyes for what seemed like an eternity. "You could have just dropped him off and left but you wanted to stay," he said. "To see if he was okay."

"You got me," she said with a smile. She cast her eyes down to her glass and watched her fingers trace the rim.

"Because you don't want him to have the same terrible childhood that you did," he finished. Emma's eyes darted up to meet his. For a moment she was tempted to tell him that he was right; that she needed to see if the kid she gave up was having a better life than she could have given him. His eyes were searching hers, waiting for her to tell him what he had already guessed.

But Emma let the moment pass. She could have poured her heart out to the bartender just like they do in the movies. Instead took another sip of the whiskey and smiled. "So what brought you here?" she asked.

"Into my bar?" he raised an eyebrow as he asked. "You mean besides the overwhelming crowds?" He waved his hand towards the nearly empty room.

"I mean to Maine," she said. "Between you, the sheriff and Mr. Gold I've heard more accents today than I normally do in Boston."

"It's a long story," he said. His expression changed subtly but enough that Emma noticed. "But you'll find that the sheriff and I have very little in common. And Mr. Gold and I even less."

"Sounds like there's more to the story there," Emma said in a teasing tone.

"Nothing of consequence," he said sharply.

Emma took the hint. If she wasn't going to talk about her life it really wasn't fair to ask him about his. She took another long sip of the drink he had poured.

"This tastes expensive," she commented.

"It is," he replied casually. "But you needn't worry about that. This one's on the house."

"Nice try," she said as she finished the glass and stood up from her seat. "I'll pay for my own drink, thanks."

"If the lady insists," he said with a mocking bow. "You owe me $40 for that glass."

"Next time I'll be more specific about what I want," she said as she pulled out her wallet and tossed the money onto the bar.

"Until that time then, love," he replied. "I think you'll find that I have anything you could possibly want right here."

He paused for a moment and then waved his hand in the direction of the bottles. Emma rolled her eyes again but couldn't help a small smile as she headed for the exit.

* * *

Emma stopped in the diner for a late night grilled cheese before heading back to her room. Once the door was closed she tossed her red leather jacket onto a chair and peeled off her jeans. She was awake for hours thinking about Henry and the strange set of events that made her stay in this town. Once again she silently promised herself that she was only here to make sure that he was okay and hopefully even happy.

She finally drifted off to sleep and that night she had the most vivid dream of sailing on a pirate ship. She was in the middle of the ocean with the wind in her hair and a smile on her face.

"You'd make a hell of a pirate."

Emma turned to see who had spoken and just before she could see who it was she awoke in her room with a start. Sunlight streamed into the room and Emma went to the window to see that the town was already bustling with activity.

She needed coffee.


	2. Episode 1x02

"You have no soul. How in the hell did you get like this?" Emma said as she stormed out of Regina's office.

She pushed open the door and took a deep breath of the crisp New England air. The late autumn evening was already dark and the air was cold but Emma could practically feel the blood boiling within her. The woman was insane. She knew that Henry was going to listen to that conversation. How could someone intentionally hurt their kid like that?

She raked her fingers through her hair and wondered if she was to blame. Taking a chainsaw to the apple tree had perhaps been a bit too extreme but she had felt like she needed to prove that the mayor might be able to frighten everyone in this town but she was not going to scare Emma. She'd been through a lot tougher situations than this one and come out okay.

But this wasn't about her … it was about Henry. And now he was hurting. Dr. Hopper had warned her about how damaging it would be if Henry were to hear her call this storybook idea crazy and now he had heard exactly that. Emma was so concerned with trying to help Henry that she hadn't thought to consider if maybe she was only making it worse. He was convinced that she was going to break this curse that he had imagined. Maybe staying here was only making the fantasy more real to him.

She made up her mind. Emma had made a choice ten years ago to have no contact with her son and she had to stick to that. Staying was a bad idea. She had a life to get back to. A good life.

Emma glanced at the clock tower and saw that it was just after 5:00. She hoped that the bank was still open.

* * *

Luckily the hours on the bank told her that she had until 5:30 to make the withdrawal she needed. The teller handed her a thick envelope with the money that she needed to pay back Mary Margaret. She needed to drop off the money and then get the hell out of this town. Clean breaks were always better. No goodbyes, no mess.

"Robbing the bank now, are we?"

Emma was so deep in her own thoughts she hadn't even noticed that someone was right outside the glass doors of the bank. Not just someone, the bartender from The Rabbit Hole.

"Just making a withdrawal," she said flatly. She really wasn't in the mood for this.

"With your recent crime spree I just naturally assumed," he said. The corner of his mouth tilted up and she couldn't help but give a halfhearted smile in return.

"Funny you should say that," she said. "I'm just paying back the person that bailed me out and then I'm getting the hell out of here."

"Leaving?" he asked. His eyebrow raised and he tilted his head a bit. "I take it you've decided the boy is in good hands, then?"

"It's … complicated," Emma said. "I don't do complicated."

"I see," he said. Something about the way he said it infuriated Emma all over again. His blue eyes felt like they were seeing all the secrets that she was trying desperately to hide.

"Look, I gave him up ten years ago and I'm not even supposed to be here," she said frantically. "He's obviously having a rough time but he'll get over it, you know? He seems like a normal kid with an active imagination and his mom is clearly very protective of him but at least he's got a stable home and someone who wants him -"

She stopped talking suddenly when she realized that she was just rambling to justify her decision.

"You think leaving is what's best for him?" the handsome stranger asked.

"It's not really any of my business," she said in an even tone. "And it's definitely not yours." She paused and looked at the clock tower again. "If you need to go to the bank you'd better go inside, they close in a couple minutes."

"Don't worry about me, love," he said; the teasing tone was back in his voice. "The pretty little teller is always open when I need her."

Emma rolled her eyes at the obvious innuendo. "Well, good for you," she said. "I've got to go now. It's a long ride back to Boston."

"I guess this is goodbye," he said. "A shame, really. We don't get many visitors here."

"Not even in the fall?" Emma asked. "I'm surprised. This town seems like exactly what the leaf peepers would be looking for."

"As far as I can recall you are the first visitor we've had in ages," he said. "But alas, apparently our town doesn't have the charm you were in search of. Safe travels, milady."

"Emma," she said without thinking. She had no idea why she told him her name. She was leaving and he probably already knew it.

"Emma," he repeated. The way he said her name was like nothing she had ever heard before. It was as though his mouth was caressing the syllables. He smiled and put his hand out. "Nice to meet you. Killian Jones."

She took his hand and shook it. His handshake was strong but she had expected that. What she hadn't expected was the way her stomach flipped when their hands met.

She pulled her hand away a little too abruptly and put it in her back pocket. "Well, I have to drop this off to Mary Margaret before I go. I have an address but would you be able to point me in the direction where she lives?"

"Her loft is just down the street," Killian said. He motioned with his prosthetic left hand and Emma realized she had forgotten all about that. She suddenly had an intense desire to know how he had lost his hand but she knew that was hardly an appropriate question to ask.

"Thanks," she said.

"Always happy to help a fair maiden," he said with a wink. Before she could answer he had swung open the door to the bank and disappeared inside.

Emma suddenly felt a feeling that she hadn't had in a long time but she shoved it out of her mind before she could even name it. Feelings like that were useless, especially since she was leaving town. She gripped the envelope in her hand and turned in the direction of Mary Margaret's apartment. This one loose end could be tied up and then she could get back to her life and start forgetting this town and everyone in it.

With every step she took she could feel her resolve crumbling. She had dared Regina to make her next move. She may have tricked Emma into hurting Henry but what kind of mother intentionally would hurt her son. Maybe leaving now wasn't what was best for him. She didn't know what was right anymore.

She ran up the stairs to Mary Margaret's door and knocked.

* * *

 **I decided that since Killian goes by Captain Hook in the Enchanted Forest that he could use the name Killian Jones as his alter ego in Storybrooke. I didn't want to call him by any other name.**


	3. Episode 1x03

_Because not having someone? Well, that's the worst curse imagineable._

Regina's words kept echoing in Emma's head. She knew she should let the mayor get to her but she really didn't need the reminder that she had been alone pretty much her whole life. She was already dreading the thought of spending another night in the bug and she found that her feet didn't want to take her to her car. She wanted to go somewhere else.

The Rabbit Hole had a few more patrons than the last time she visited but it was still fairly empty. Killian was already pouring her some whiskey as she made her way to the bar.

"Rough day?" he asked with a surprisingly sympathetic tone.

"You don't know the half of it," Emma replied.

"I know how you feel about having your drinks bought for you but I insist that this one is on the house," Killian said as he pushed the tumbler towards her. "It's the least I can do for John Doe's savior."

"Savior? You sound like Henry," Emma laughed. "You should probably wait for Mary Margaret to come in and give this drink to her. She's the one who saved him, not me."

"The school teacher doesn't really frequent this establishment," he said with a wink as he leaned in closer.

"Well, I wouldn't want it to go to waste," Emma said. She picked up the drink and sipped at the strong liquor he had poured for her without looking away from Killian's blue stare. She realized that they had been looking at each other a little too long and she thought that she needed to say something. "You're not surprised that I'm still in town?"

"You'll find that very little surprises me, love," Killian said. Their gaze was still on each other's face as if they were both searching for something beyond the words they were saying. Emma suddenly felt very exposed and it wasn't an entirely uncomfortable feeling. As if he sensed it he pushed back from the bar and busied himself with washing some of the glasses and she was thankful for the distraction.

She continued to sip the expensive drink as she stole glances at him. She wondered what it was about him that made her feel so drawn to him. He was tall, dark and handsome, of course but she had found that attractive men were easy to find. Maybe it was the blue eyes that made him so appealing. Or the accent. Those things certainly didn't hurt but Emma knew she was only fooling herself. There was something else about him, something that she hadn't felt in a long time.

"How is he doing?"

"Huh? Who?"

"John Doe," he chuckled.

"Oh! His name is David," she said. "He's doing good, I guess. He's got a wife."

"I wasn't asking about his marital status."

"I know what you were asking," Emma said. "They say he should make a full recovery once he gets his memories back."

"He doesn't remember anything?" he asked.

"No," she said. "The first thing he remembered was Mary Margaret waking him up."

"Why did you mention her?"

"Because she is the one who woke him up," Emma said.

"Not her," Killian said. "The wife. Why did you mention that he had a wife?"

"It just seemed strange to me," Emma told him. "He's been in a coma for so long and no one came looking for him. It just doesn't feel right."

"You have a lot of suspicions about our town," he observed. "Makes me wonder why you decided to stay."

"I thought you weren't surprised," she teased.

"Surprise and curiosity are not the same thing," he said.

"I'm here for Henry," she answered honestly. "I don't know what it is but something feels off. He's not happy and I just can't leave until I feel like he is."

"Perhaps he will only be happy as long as you stay," Killian suggested.

Emma considered that as she took another sip. "I just feel like he needs me – at least he does right now and I don't know what I should do. I've never had someone need me before."

"Never?"

"Well, not in the good way. I guess I've had plenty of people use me before," she admitted.

"That explains why you want to stay," Killian said. "You want to make sure Henry doesn't grow up with the same feeling that no one needs him."

"Maybe," she felt like she had opened up too much. "Well, I don't know how long I can even stay. Apparently I'm not welcome at Granny's anymore."

"Oh, no?" Killian raised an eyebrow. "Where are you staying then?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" she teased.

"Perhaps I would," he answered seriously.

She thought about lying but she's already told him a lot tonight, what was one more piece of embarrassing information? "In my car for now," she said. Emma suddenly had to laugh. "Henry thinks I can break some curse but I can't even find a bed to sleep in."

"I have a rather large bed that you are welcome to stay in any time," he offered with a grin and a suggestive look.

Emma rolled her eyes. Was it impossible for him to get through an entire conversation without flirting? "Thanks, but I think my car sounds more appealing."

"Don't fool yourself, love," he said. "I don't make that proposition to just anyone."

"Yeah, I'm sure you're very scrupulous," she said as she downed the rest of the drink. "I think I'll just thank you for the free drink and be on my way."

"Goodnight, Emma," he said as he cleared her glass. "I hope you find a place to stay. It's going to be cold tonight."

"Goodnight," she said with a half-smile. She wasn't looking forward to braving the cold in her bug but what else could she do?

As she walked to her car she could feel the chill in the air already. Maybe she could go sit at Granny's until they closed. She might not be able to stay there but she was sure she could still eat there. It seemed like a dismal prospect .. sitting in the diner night after night.

She remembered that Mary Margaret had offered her a spare room last night. At the time she was too proud but after Regina's reminder today maybe it wouldn't hurt Emma to try living with someone. Mary Margaret seemed like she would be a good roommate and maybe even a good friend.

Emma made up her mind. She was going to try something new.


	4. After 1x04

_I'll see you Monday morning._

Emma couldn't stop thinking about roots. She could have roots; she was planting them right now. She had a job where she actually was on the payroll, a cozy loft to stay in with a roommate that was probably the best friend she had ever had, a son that she had thought she would have never had a chance to get to know – a handsome boss. She shook her head at the thought. She shouldn't think about Graham that way but it was hard not to. He was handsome … and charming, and funny, and sweet … and a sheriff. He wasn't the type of guy that she normally would be attracted to; he was actually nice. He was the kind of guy that women are supposed to be attracted to; polite, good job … respectable.

Her life had changed in just a few days and now here she was pushing a shopping cart through the produce department of Storybrooke's only grocery store. Emma eyed the fruits and vegetables, wondering what Mary Margaret would like to eat. She knew that Granny's takeout was probably not what the school teacher would think of as a home cooked dinner. Emma had probably spoken too soon when she told her friend that she wanted to make dinner to thank her for the place to stay; she had very little experience with cooking anything more complicated than toast.

"Are you lost, love?" she heard the familiar voice and the too familiar endearment coming from behind her and she felt the color rise to her cheeks. If Graham was the right sort of guy then Killian was the exact opposite.

She turned around to see him standing with a shopping basket hooked over his left arm. In his right hand he was opening one of the plastic bags to drop some green peppers into it. She was actually impressed at how easy the task was for him, she had two hands but had managed to rip three nags before she was able to open one to put a cucumber into it. After that ordeal she hadn't attempted anything else.

"I'm not lost, I'm shopping," she said. Of course she would run into him here. She wasn't used to living in a small town and running into people she knew everywhere she went. She suddenly wondered how long she had been lost in thought and not noticed him in the same department. A glance at his nearly full basket made her think it had been a while.

Killian glanced into the shopping cart and raised an eyebrow when he saw the lone cucumber. "And what is it you are trying to make?"

Emma glared at him. "Dinner for Mary Margaret," she replied flatly. "I wanted to thank her for giving me a place to stay by cooking dinner but … I don't really have much experience with cooking."

Killian laughed. "That doesn't surprise me in the least."

"Yeah, well, glad I could amuse you," Emma said. "Nice seeing you again, Killian, but I have to figure something out so I guess I will see later." She pushed on the handle of her shopping cart in an attempt to make a quick getaway into one of the aisles but the wheels were turned the other way and she ended up slamming the cart into a display of stacked cantaloupes and a few of them came loose and bounced onto the ground.

"Here, let me help you," Killian said, placing his basket on the ground and palming one of the fruits that rolled by his feet. Despite her embarrassing accident he wasn't laughing anymore and she was grateful for that. "So, you're staying with the school teacher? I suppose that means you will be in town for a while?"

"Yeah," Emma said. "Not only that but I have a job, too."

"Is that so? I'm happy to hear that," he said. "The Rabbit Hole could use some regular customers."

"Oh, I don't think so," she said, putting the last cantaloupe on top of the stack. "I'm going to be working for the sheriff as a deputy. I don't think drinking at the local bar is the best way to establish my authority in a new town."

A look of disappointment flashed across Killian's face so quickly that Emma wondered if she had imagined it. Just as quickly it was replaced by a devilish grin. "Are handcuffs issued along with the uniform?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Okay, well, thanks for your help but I really do have to figure out what I'm going to do for dinner tonight."

"It was a pleasure running into you, Deputy," Killian said with a slight bow. Emma had to laugh at the gesture.

"Nice seeing you, Killian."

He walked toward the cash register and then stopped and turned back around. "Pasta."

"Huh?"

"Spaghetti, some sauce, a salad … don't forget the dressing," he went on. "It's very hard to mess up cooking pasta. If I know Mary Margaret she will be happy with the thought."

Emma smiled. "Thanks for the tip," she said. "I think I can handle that."

"And you already have an ingredient for the salad," he said, motioning to the cucumber in her cart.

She laughed. "I guess I do."

"Good luck with the new job," he said with a smile.

"Thanks." Emma smiled back at him. The moment lasted a beat too long and Killian must have felt it, too because he suddenly nodded and turned around to continue on to pay for his groceries.

Emma turned back to the produce and started adding some items to her cart that she thought she could put together into a decent salad. A quick trip around the store and she had what she needed to put a meal on the table. She was just about to check out when she looked at the cart and remembered what Killian had said. She had forgotten the dressing. She wheeled the cart around to go pick up a bottle.

Yeah, definitely the wrong kind of guy.

* * *

 **Author's note: Sorry it's been so long since I updated this fic but I have been very inspired lately and after rewatching "The Price of Gold" I couldn't get this fic out of my head.**


	5. After 1x06

**Author's note: I hope this story isn't too hard to follow. So far everything that happens in Season 1 is canon and I'm picking up at different points in the episodes. I'm just imagining what if Killian was there all along and fitting it in.**

 **So this chapter is right after she catches Graham leaving Regina's house ... and it's definitely Rated M ;)**

* * *

 _You can finish my shift. I'm done working nights._

Emma threw the car keys at Graham and stormed away.

Figures. Of course he was sleeping with the mayor … and lying about it. Emma had him pegged as the right kind of guy; the kind of guy she _should_ be going out with. She thought maybe this time she had actually picked the nice guy to be attracted to. She should have known better. If Emma Swan thinks someone is a good guy then odds are they're the exact opposite.

Luckily Graham had enough sense to leave her alone. She did not want to talk to him, not about this, not about anything. Regina was pure evil and he was _sleeping_ with her? Emma had heard the confession but still couldn't believe that it was true. And with Henry asleep in the next room? Ugh, disgusting.

Emma had every intention of going home to the loft and taking a long, hot shower to try and scrub the memory off but she knew that Mary Margaret was meeting David tonight and if things went well they could hardly go back to his place. Emma needed a place that was quiet and dark … a place where she could wallow in her problems and no one would judge her. The only thing better than washing away the image of Graham sneaking out of Regina's bedroom window would be obliterating it with a good, stiff drink.

Even for a weekday The Rabbit Hole was dead. A couple was leaving the bar as she entered and one lone patron was nursing a beer at one end of the bar. Emma realized that it was probably close to last call so she slid into an empty seat at the other end and waited. Killian was behind the bar with his back to her and if he had seen her come in he didn't give any indication of it.

"Here on official business?" Killian asked without turning around. Of course he had seen her. "As you can see there is nothing unseemly happening in my establishment tonight."

"I came in for a glass of whatever it is you poured me the other night," Emma said. "Maybe two."

"Last call was five minutes ago, Deputy Swan," he said. "I'm just waiting for Mickey here to finish that beer so I can close for the night."

Emma leaned in a little and whispered, "I'll be quick."

Killian didn't break eye contact. "Get out, Mick."

"I'll leave when I've finished my beer," the man at the bar drawled. He had clearly already had enough.

Killian turned to him. "If you leave right now your drinks tonight are on the house."

The man's eyes widened and he hastily made his way to the door, leaving the half empty beer on the bar. Killian followed him and issued a warning about walking straight home before he locked the door behind him.

"I trust I won't find myself in any trouble for serving liquor past the time that my license permits?" Killian asked as he produced a clean glass in front of her and poured the dark amber liquid into it. He placed another glass next to the bottle and walked around the bar to sit in the seat next to her.

"Not tonight," she promised as she tilted the contents of the glass down her throat. The smooth liquor hardly burned but she could feel its effects almost immediately. Warmth spread through her body all the way to her toes.

"Another?" Killian asked. Emma held out her glass to him and he poured her another drink before pouring one into his own glass. "This liquor is mean to be sipped, love."

"I'm not really here for sipping," Emma said as she threw back the second drink and held out her glass again. Killian held the bottle away from her. "Don't disappoint me now, Killian."

"If getting drunk is all you're looking for there are a lot of cheaper options available," he suggested.

"Nah," Emma said. She put the glass on the bar and pushed it closer to him. "I'm not interested in anything cheap."

"Then I'll ask that you show some appreciation for what I'm pouring you," he said as he tipped the bottle into her glass and pushed it back in front of her.

"Thank you, Killian," she said, overemphasizing each word. She raised the glass to her lips and took a sip of it, letting the strong liquid spread over her tongue before swallowing it.

"There's a good girl." He put the bottle aside and picked up his own glass. "Tell me, love, what has gotten into you tonight?"

"None of your business," Emma said with a little smile.

"A few days ago you told me that I wouldn't be seeing you. Now you're here looking vexed and clearly on a mission to get inebriated. You came to my bar, darling," he looked her directly in the eye. "You're here for a reason, what is it?"

His emphasis on the _t_ drew Emma's attention to his mouth and once it did it was all she could think about. As usual he noticed and she saw the smirk form on his lips. She rolled her eyes and turned her attention back to the glass in front of her, tilting it in her hands and watching the way the liquid clung to the side of the glass.

"Just as well," Killian said, sitting back a little. "You probably couldn't handle it."

Emma slammed the glass down on the bar and grabbed the collar of Killian's black button-down with both hands and hauled his mouth to hers. He dropped his own glass and it smashed on the floor, not that anyone noticed.

His hand was in her hair, pulling her even closer to him. She stood up from her stool and pressed her body against him as the kiss deepened. Her hands left his collar and explored his lean frame. She could feel the muscle underneath the thin fabric of his shirt and she longed to feel the heat of his skin against hers. She tugged a little at his belt and Killian moved to stand up from his seat, never breaking their kiss. He moved her backwards until she felt the wall behind her and only then did his mouth move from hers to travel down her throat.

His tongue found a spot on her neck that had her gasping with pleasure and he slid her blue leather jacket from her shoulders, letting it fall in a heap at her feet. She shivered but it wasn't from the cold. He slowly unbuttoned her jeans and slipped in his hand as his mouth continued doing wicked things to her neck. If she hadn't been so absorbed by what he was doing to her she might have been embarrassed by how wet she already was but there was an ache in her core that she needed to be released.

She bucked her hips forward to urge him on and he slipped one finger lower to find the evidence of her desire. He practically growled when he slid another finger into her slick heat and she felt her knees go weak. Emma began to grind her hips wantonly against his hand and she cried out when his two fingers sank into her. His mouth at her throat was practically the only thing anchoring her against the wall as her hips were desperately rocked against his hand. Her fingers raked through his dark hair as she felt the pleasure rise and rise until it crashed over her and she forgot all the reasons that she had been upset.

Killian held onto her as he felt her body tense and tremble and finally go as limp as a rag doll. When she was steady again he slipped his hand back out. She opened her eyes to see Killian with a satisfied grin on his face slip two fingers into his mouth to taste her and her mind began to race.

 _What had she done? This wasn't what she came in here for … was it? She had just wanted to have a drink to numb the pain and disappointment … she hadn't meant to be pressed against the wall letting the handsome bartender get her off … but fuck it was just too tempting._

"That was …" Killian began.

"A mistake," Emma said abruptly. She started hastily buttoning up her jeans. "I'm sorry, Killian. I shouldn't have come in here tonight."

His face darkened. "No, you probably shouldn't have."

"I'm sorry," she said again. "It was a bad idea and it won't happen again."

"It's alright, love. I understand," he said, his tone lighter but his face still looked menacing. "You can't get what you want from the sheriff so you come to the wrong side of the tracks to get what you need from the barkeep."

"It's not like that!" Emma protested as she shrugged her jacket over her shoulders.

"Isn't it?" he asked. "Because I'm actually quite perceptive you know and this feels an awful lot like being used."

"I didn't use you," Emma said quietly. "This has nothing to do with Graham."

"You don't have to lie to me, Emma," Killian said. "I run the only bar in town. You're the only visitor we've had in a long time, people gossip."

"Then ignore it," she said, her voice rising. "There is nothing going on between me and Graham."

"Can you do me favor and not say his bloody name?" Killian shouted. "I still have your taste in my mouth, Emma. I don't need to hear the name of the guy you are trying to forget."

She opened her mouth to yell back at him but she stopped herself. "I didn't mean to use you," she said.

"Happy to be of service," he shot back.

She didn't know what to say to that. The silence stretched for a few moments until Emma pulled out her wallet. "How much do I owe you for the drinks?"

"Consider them paid for."

"Fuck you," Emma spat at him. She turned on her heel and headed for the door.

"We didn't get that far, love," Killian called after her. "I suppose you'll need to be really heartbroken for that to happen."

She unlocked the door and didn't look back as she let it slam shut behind her. She managed to get all the way across the street before the tears that she'd been holding back all night finally overwhelmed her.

* * *

 **Sorry about the angst but I had to because in 1x07 Emma assumes Mary Margaret's flowers are from Graham and I had to leave off things really bad with Killian so she couldn't possibly consider they were from him. I'm trying really hard to make this work with all the canon of Season 1!**


	6. 1x07 and After

**Author's note: I'm so happy to see that this little fic of mine has gotten so many follows and favorites. I'm kind of obsessed with it and it's practically writing itself (in my head while I'm trying to get some sleep). Thanks for the few of you that have left kind reviews. It is so very appreciated! Here, have another chapter! (this one hurt, RIP Graham)**

* * *

The next morning Emma was grateful for one thing: expensive liquor didn't generally leave her with a hangover. Other than that, pretty much everything else about the way she felt was shitty. If she wasn't so angry about her situation she could have laughed at herself. She had spent the last decade avoiding complicated situations and now she found herself caught between two men, neither of which was any good for her. She needed to shut both of them out and focus on the one person that really mattered. Henry.

Downstairs she found Mary Margaret was already gone for the day. Good, she didn't want to talk about it and she knew her friend would catch on that something was wrong. Emma was determined to spend the day hiding from everyone.

~~~ _One Week Later_ ~~~

Emma sat at her desk in the sheriff's office and looked over her shoulder at the empty office behind her. It had been one of the worst weeks of her life. Graham's autopsy results had come back to show that he had an aneurysm. She still couldn't believe that he was gone. She had put on a brave face and carried on her duties at the station as best she could. Mary Margaret had been a great help making sure that she remembered to eat and go to sleep at a decent hour. She was the type of friend that Emma had never had before but she felt guilty that she should be more supportive in return since it was clear that her roommate was having trouble dealing with her own heartbreak over David Nolan deciding to stay with his wife.

Emma stared at the spot on the floor where Graham had died in her arms. She had sobbed uncontrollably that night as she held tight to his lifeless body. The pain she felt was unbearable but strangely like welcoming back an old friend. She had hardened her heart for so long that she forgot how familiar the despair felt to her. After his body had been taken away and all the questions were answered she had gone home and cried herself to sleep; something she hadn't done since she was in prison. Graham was a good man; a man she could have loved. And now he was gone.

Even worse, Henry was avoiding her. He must be taking the news of Graham's death hard and she wanted to comfort him so badly but it was almost like he refused to see her. She had waited for him to be dropped off by his school bus a couple days ago and the only greeting she got was a mumbled "My mom is expecting me at home." Regina scheduled extra sessions with Dr. Hopper to help him cope and Emma figured that Archie could probably help him more now than she could so she kept her distance.

It made her feel very alone.

A tapping sound made Emma jump and she turned to see Killian standing at the entrance to the station holding a bag that she recognized as Granny's takeout. She looked at the clock and realized that it was almost eight and she hadn't even noticed it getting dark outside.

"I might have overheard Miss Blanchard at the diner worrying about our town's deputy," Killian said as walked into the room and placed the bag down on the desk in front of her. "I have it on good authority that you can't say no to a grilled cheese and some hot cocoa with cinnamon."

"Ruby," Emma guessed and Killian nodded. Her stomach suddenly remembered that it had been morning the last time she ate anything and she tore into the bag with a little more eagerness than she intended. "Thank you."

He pulled up a seat next to her desk and sat with her in silence while she devoured the meal he had brought for her. She held out the bag of onion rings and they shared the rest of them until every last crumb was gone. Emma sipped the lukewarm cocoa in the Styrofoam cup and eyed him curiously.

"Got anything stronger?" she asked.

Killian grinned and produced a flask from his jacket pocket. She took a swig of it and recognized the taste as the expensive drink that he had introduced her too. She raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "Only the best for you, love."

"Thank you," she said, hoping that he recognized the sincerity in her voice.

"I didn't know if you'd want to see me but I came to offer my condolences," Killian said, dropping his gaze to his feet. "The sheriff and I weren't friends but he was a good man and didn't deserve to have his life cut short."

"No, he didn't," Emma whispered. She could feel the tears start to well in her eyes but she hadn't cried in front of anyone since the night it had happened and she didn't intend to start now. "So, you thought you'd come here and get me drunk?"

"Hardly, Swan," he said with an eye roll. He stopped looking at the floor and focused on her in a way that Emma wasn't prepared for. "I just thought you might be in need of some comforting."

She laughed. "I'm sure I know exactly what you have in mind and it's not going to -"

"I'm sure you don't have any idea what I have in mind," Killian interrupted. "So just stop with your assumptions and let me explain why I came to see you tonight."

Emma sat back in her chair with a huff and folded her arms across her chest. For a moment he didn't say anything so she gestured with one hand for him to continue.

"You've been through a terrible ordeal, Emma," he went on. "I'm here because you're new in town and other than your roommate I don't think you've made any close connections yet. I wasn't trying to eavesdrop but I couldn't help but hear the concern in Mary Margaret's voice."

"I don't want to burden her," Emma confessed. "She had her own problems right now, she doesn't need mine."

"That's rubbish, Swan," Killian said flatly.

"Don't act like you know me so well," she said, turning away.

"You're right, I don't know you very well," he admitted. "But I do know me and I'd do the same thing that you are doing."

"What am I doing?"

"Shutting people out, putting up walls." Emma opened her mouth to object but Killian just held up his hand and continued on. "I'm not saying it's a bad thing. You're protecting yourself and at a time like this who can blame you? I'm just offering a night off from that."

"What does that even mean?" Emma asked.

"Come on, love," Killian stood up and offered his hand to her. "Let's go sit down on the couch. It's a lot more comfortable." Emma shot him a skeptical look and he rolled his eyes. "For Christ's sake, Emma I am not here with any ulterior motives so you can stop looking at me like all I want is to get in your pants. Can you just bloody trust me?"

She hesitated for a second and then put her hand in his and let him lead her over to the couch that was against the wall. They both sat down and she waited for him to tell her what this is all about.

"I'm going to ask you something and I don't want you to overthink your answer, okay?"

She nodded.

"Would you like me to hold you for a while?" he asked. Emma searched his eyes, still wary of this unexpected tender side of the bartender. Their last encounter had ended just about as badly as it could and with the trust issues that she had it was almost impossible to believe that he could be offering this selfless comfort to her. Except it was possible because she couldn't see any deception in his eyes; that truth was that he just wanted to help her.

"I haven't been held in a really wrong time," she told him.

"I know, Swan," he said. He held out his arm and she carefully moved into his embrace, letting him wrap both arms protectively around her. She rested her head on his chest and closed her eyes listening to the steady beat of his heart. He placed a chaste kiss on the top of her forehead and began to gently rub her back.

It took her a moment to relax completely but when she did she could practically feel the walls that she had built up over the past crumble bit by bit. The sadness welled up in her eyes again and this time she didn't try to stop them. A flood of emotion seemed to be pouring out of her and she realized that her tears were falling onto his shirt.

She abruptly sat up. "I'm sorry, I'm making your shirt get all wet."

Killian pulled her slowly back to his chest and his hand went to her hair. "Shhhh, Emma," he whispered. "I don't care if you soak my shirt through. Just relax, there's no one here but you and me." His fingers stroked through her hair and it felt as if he was extracting all the pain and anger and stress of the last week out of her body. She breathed in the scent of him and snuggled closer as she let herself cry on his shoulder. Until this very moment she hadn't realized how lonely her life had been. Being held by him was giving her such an oddly familiar calm that she couldn't remember the last time she had experienced it.

Well, she could but she pushed that thought out of her mind and focused on the way it felt to be in his arms. He was well built but she already knew that from the memory of her hands trailing over his body that night in his empty bar. What she hadn't remembered from that encounter was the way he smelled like a mixture of the cool night air with a faint hint of soap. Last time she had probably only smelled the rum but not tonight. Tonight the scent was comforting and she buried her face further into his chest as the tears began to subside.

He was warm and it seemed to radiate around him because even the parts of her that weren't enveloped in his embrace felt the heat. His touch was soothing and she found that she was getting drowsy from the even sound of his breathing accompanied by the reassuring thrum of his heartbeat against her ear.

She felt better. Emma was amazed at how much better she felt. She felt so much better that she suddenly was very aware of how intimate they must look, snuggled on the couch of the sheriff's station together. As if he sensed her reaction his fingers stopped moving through her hair and he slowly moved one arm back to his own space.

She sat up and wiped away the moisture from her eyes and laughed nervously at the wet spot she had left on his chest. Killian smiled back at her in a way that she knew was meant to be reassuring but she could already feel the walls that she had grown so accustomed to reforming around her. It was not a good idea to spend any more time alone with this man. The doubt started creeping in, reminder her that it's a bad idea to trust anyone.

"It's late," she said, breaking the silence that hung heavy in the room. "I think I should probably go home now." She looked at him somberly and hoped that he would just take the hint and let her go.

"As you wish," he said and she breathed an audible sigh of relief that he had the good sense to pretend that he didn't hear. He stood up and walked to the exit, not turning back.

"Hey, Killian," she called after him. He stopped and turned to face her. "Thank you for dinner … and for everything else."

"You're welcome, Emma." She grinned as he dipped in a small bow. "Goodnight, love."

He left and Emma made her rounds of the office, shutting off lights and pulling the blinds shut. That was not what she expected but she had to admit that it was exactly what she needed.

Damnit, she had to stop this bad habit she had developed of opening herself up. She knew where it would lead and she only had room in her life for Henry. She had to focus on him and think about what was best for him. Getting involved with someone was what led her to lose Henry in the first place and she was not going to let that happen again.


	7. After 1x08

**Author's note: It isn't clear how much time passes after 1x08 when Emma wins the sheriff's election so this chapter takes place during that time. :) As always, thank you for all the follows, favorites and especially the oh so kind reviews!**

* * *

"Sheriff's station," Emma answered the phone with all the professionalism she could muster.

"There's a fight here," the voice on the other end of the phone said.

"Okay, where is here?" she asked.

"The Rabbit Hole." Of course. Emma's first official call as the sheriff would just have to be at Killian's bar. "You'd better hurry; this isn't going to be pretty."

"I'm on my way," she said. "Can I get your name?"

"I'd rather not say," the person said. "I don't want to get involved in this feud."

Emma grabbed the keys to the sheriff's car and headed out the door of the station. Flipping on the lights she drove the short distance over to the town's only late night establishment. It was getting near closing time and she braced herself for what was no doubt some drunken misunderstanding. What she found when she walked through the front door was much, much worse.

"Calm down, Tucker," Emma heard Killian say. His voice was calm and steady but the situation was anything but. It seemed that most of the patrons had cleared out of the bar but over by the pool table was a small group. Emma quickly deduced that Tucker must be the guy that was holding a broken beer bottle to the throat of another young man. Killian was standing a few feet away in a defensive stance trying to diffuse the situation.

"Drop the weapon and back away," Emma commanded, drawing her gun from the holster at her hip.

"Tucker, listen to her," a female voice pleaded. "Please, don't get into trouble."

"Jessica, he's only after you for one reason," Tucker said in response. "I'm not going to stand for this disrespect and you know your father won't either."

"It's not like that, man," the guy at the other end of the broken bottle said. His voice was broken and he looked desperately at Jessica.

"Hey!" Emma shouted. "I said drop the weapon!"

Tucker looked over at her and saw the gun pointed at him. His face went white and he did as he was asked; he took a step back and dropped the beer bottle to the ground. Killian kicked it out of his reach.

"Thank you," Emma said. She lowered her gun but didn't put it away yet. "Now, you guys want to tell me what's going on here?"

Over the next hour Emma gathered everyone's information and let everyone go that wasn't directly involved in the incident. Killian went back behind his bar to clean up for the night. When it was just Tucker, Jessica and the third guy – whose name was Ryan – Emma found out that it was just a bar fight that had escalated a little too quickly.

"I love her," Ryan exclaimed. "And he just thinks it's all an act."

"It is all an act," Tucker said. "Jessica is my cousin and our families hate each other. The only thing he is interested in is causing more trouble."

"And what do you think, Jessica?" Emma asked.

"She knows better.." Tucker began but Emma held up her hand to stop him mid-sentence.

"I asked her."

"I love Ryan," Jessica said. "It doesn't make any sense but I do. Ryan's not trying to trick me. We just want to get married but our families don't approve."

"Star-crossed lovers, huh?" Emma said with a smile. She turned toward Ryan and looked him in the eye. "Is that all you want? Just to marry the girl you love?"

"Yes," Ryan said. "It's our families that don't get along. Why should that stop us?"

Emma listened to his answer and searched his face. He was telling the truth. "Listen, Tucker. I'm going to do you a favor and let you off with a really big warning. You need to let your cousin make her own decisions."

"She's making a mistake," Tucker mumbled.

"Then it's her mistake to make," Emma told him. "She's a grown woman and she gets to make her own choices. If I hear that you or your families caused any more trouble for these two then I will make it my business to make sure no one gets another off on a warning again, got it?"

"Got it," they each said.

Emma let Jessica and Ryan leave and held Tucker behind for a while. She didn't want the argument to continue on the street. After about ten minutes she let him go with a reminder of the warning that she had given him. By the time the whole incident was dealt with it was way after midnight.

"Care for a nightcap, sheriff?" Killian offered, locking the door after Tucker left.

"Can't," she said. "I don't drink and sheriff."

"It seems to me that your sheriffing is done for the night," Killian pointed out. "I haven't had a chance to congratulate you on your impressive defeat of the news man."

It wasn't an accident that he hadn't run into her. Emma had been avoiding him successfully up until tonight when she had no other choice. Their last encounter had left her feeling vulnerable and that was not what she needed to feel, especially not around a guys like Killian. But now that she was alone with him again she couldn't seem to leave.

"One drink," she said. "I have to get a statement from you anyway."

Killian grinned and took the familiar bottle off the shelf and poured two drinks for them. He placed them on the bar but this time he didn't come to sit next to her. Instead he leaned on the bar and clinked his glass against hers. "To the new sheriff of Storybrooke."

Emma sipped her drink this time, careful to keep her wits about her. She was expecting Killian to bring up their night in the sheriff's station and she had no idea what she would say if he did. She smiled to herself when she imagined just bolting out the front door.

"Something funny, Swan?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Not really," she answered as the color rose to her cheeks.

"I can only imagine what you must have been thinking if it made you blush like that," he said, watching her closely.

Emma only blushed more and rolled her eyes. "In your dreams."

"If you knew the role you played in my dreams you would be blushing a lot more than that, love," Killian said in a low voice.

Emma locked eyes with him. She should probably be offended by what he was saying but instead she was relieved. She could take his flirting and innuendo; she couldn't take a discussion about her opening up to him. It would be better to just keep this relationship what it was – a mutual physical attraction. "Oh, yeah?" she said with a smile. "Try me."

Killian raised his eyebrows. "Ooh, I do love a challenge," he said. "But a gentleman never tells."

"So now you decide to be a gentleman?" she asked flatly.

"You wound me, Emma," Killian said, placing his hand dramatically over his heart. "When have I not been a gentleman?"

She scoffed. "How about the last time I was here?"

"I seem to recall you were the one acting like a scoundrel that night," he accused with a smile. "You came here looking to scratch an itch and I was just the man to do it. And then you left me unsatisfied."

It was Emma's turn to raise her eyebrows. "And what satisfaction should you have had that night?" She paused for a moment wondering how this odd exchange sounded so vaguely familiar.

"Whatever the lady pleased, of course" Killian said. "But my lady apparently thought the best course of action was to run out the door."

"And the self-proclaimed gentleman decided the best course of action was to hurl insults at me as I left," she countered.

"Touché," he conceded. "I may have been out of line. So let me offer you something that I don't usually offer to anyone. My apology."

She hadn't expected that. "Apology accepted," she said. She kept her eyes cast down to her drink. She didn't want to know if he was sincere.

"You didn't have to run out on me, though," he said in a low voice.

"Oh, but I really did," Emma said. She swallowed the rest of her drink. "And I'm afraid I have to do the same thing tonight. Thanks for the drink." She took out her wallet and pushed some cash across the bar before quickly heading for the door.

"Getting too intense for you?"

"Hardly," she replied; wheeling around to face him. "I just can't very well leave the sheriff's car sitting out front of the bar while I sit and have a couple drinks."

"I see, so you're worried about what people will think," Killian said. He stepped out from behind the bar and walked closer to where she stood near the exit.

"I just need to get the car back to the station," she said again.

"No, I think there's more to it than that," he said.

She shook her head. "You can think whatever you want. Goodnight, Killian." She turned around and opened the door to leave.

"Swan."

"What?" she asked a little too loudly.

"Your keys." She looked back and saw him standing there with her keys dangling in his hand. "You left them on the bar."

He didn't make a move so she stepped forward and reached out to take them. When her hand connected with his she shivered and the keys fell to the floor. Neither of them moved to pick them up. It suddenly felt like the two of the in this room were the only residents of the small town that were still awake. Emma found herself mesmerized by the blue of his eyes. They were as bright as the sky on a cloudless day but had flecks of deep blue that was the color of the ocean during a storm; she had never noticed how intensely he looked at her – or maybe she had but didn't want to recognize it. Without thinking she linked their fingers together and closed the distance between her and the darkly handsome bartender. She rose up on her tip toes and forgot to remind herself of all the reasons she shouldn't be doing this.

The kiss was everything that their last encounter wasn't. This time she felt the softness of his lips as he lowered his head to meet her halfway. None of the groping passion was present, just an achingly tender need to be consumed by the moment. Emma's mouth opened for him when she felt his tongue run gently over her bottom lip. Their hands unlinked and she raked her fingers through his dark hair. Killian's arms encircled her waist and she felt herself relax into his embrace. Her heart was beating rapidly as his tongue swept into her mouth. A small sigh escaped from her throat and he responded with his own appreciative moan.

His mouth moved away from hers and he began kissing a slow line down her jaw to her throat. Emma wanted so badly to lose herself in this. She'd already had a taste of what Killian could do to her in the bedroom. She could go back to his place and spend the night and maybe even have some kind of no strings attached arrangement until she decided it was time to move on … except she wasn't planning on moving on this time. She was here to stay, right? She had a job, a great place to live …

"Hey, where'd you go?" Killian asked suddenly. Emma realized that her racing thoughts had won out and he had known the instant it happened.

"I … I have to go," Emma said. She pressed her forehead against his. "I don't want to but I have to."

"The car might be spotted," he said. "I understand."

"Well, there's that," she began. "But ... I just … I can't get involved. I have to focus on Henry right now."

"No, there's more to it than that," Killian said.

She really needed to get better at lying to this man. "I just have to go," she repeated.

He leaned down and picked up her keys before opening the door for her. "Goodnight, Sheriff Swan."

She hesitated for a moment. "Goodnight, Killian."

The door closed behind her and she headed back to her waiting car. She climbed into the driver's seat and leaned her head against the steering wheel. She remembered now why she had spent the last year trying to avoid any kind of emotional connection. It always led to heartbreak and disappointment. Killian might seem like a nice distraction but she knew that she could too easily let herself be carried away thinking that he was something that he was not.

She turned the key in the ignition and drove quietly back to the sheriff's station.

* * *

 **Author's note: Every time people ask what stories I would like to see on the show one always comes to mind. I changed the names but put a few not too subtle references into this chapter ... did you catch it? :)**


	8. After 1x09

**Author's note: I usually like to write from both POVs. This story will mostly be from Emma's perspective but I will throw in chapters for Killian as well. Here's one now:**

* * *

Killian used to not care who was coming in every time he heard the door to The Rabbit Hole open but now he couldn't stop himself from glancing over in the hopes that Sheriff Swan would find a reason to visit him again. Night after night he watched for her but she didn't make an appearance.

He had taken to waiting a few minutes after closing time before he locked the door, just in case she decided to drop in. When he would finally turn the lock he alternated between sighing in disappointment and cursing himself for being such a fool. A woman like Emma wasn't going to take up with the likes of him, no matter how attracted she clearly was. But he couldn't keep his mind from wandering when he was alone in the bar. He thought about the way her blonde curls bounced as she stomped out of the bar, or the rare smiles that she gave when she couldn't help herself, or the way her mouth was warm and inviting but somehow possessive all at the same time …

He felt as though his life had been a blur before she sat down at his bar. He had vague memories of long nights pouring drinks and nameless, faceless women sharing his bed for a few hours but there wasn't one substantial memory he could hang on to until Emma arrived. She was consuming his thoughts and being alone in the bar where they had shared a couple intimate moments was not helping. Paperwork be damned, he had to get some fresh air.

He walked the short distance to the docks and breathed in deeply. The salt air was exactly what he needed. He had no recollection of ever being on a boat but for some reason the ocean calmed him. At the moment it just looked like a great expanse of blackness as far as he could see but it was reassuring nonetheless.

"Are you following me?" he heard Emma's voice coming from behind him and turned to see her sitting on one of the benches with a file in front of her.

"I haven't seen you in days, love," Killian said. "How could I be following you? I just came out here to clear my head. I didn't expect to have company."

"I thought the same thing," she said, piling up the papers and closing them inside the file folder.

"Don't leave on account of me," he said. "I was only getting some air for a minute. You look like you're in the middle of something."

"I am," she agreed. "I was … I don't know."

"Something on your mind?"

"Are there really never any visitors here?" she asked.

"Not many that I can recall," he told her. "And you're the only one who stayed. I guess our town just doesn't carry much appeal to tourists."

"A man rode his motorcycle into town not too long ago," she went on. "Henry says that no one ever comes here and now this mysterious guy drops in and didn't want to give me his name."

"You spoke to him?" Killian didn't know why but he felt a small twinge of jealousy at this news. How ridiculous, a couple kisses hardly gave him any reason to be jealous.

"Yeah, I was talking with Henry and he just rode up and asked where he could find a place to stay," she said. "Strange, huh?"

"I suppose it is," Killian agreed. "If I may ask, what are you still doing out here?"

"Same as you, just looking for a quiet place," she said. She paused for a moment and Killian was about to take the hint and head home until she suddenly went on. "I had a case that I closed today that hit kind of close to home. It got me thinking about some stuff and I just felt like being alone."

"I didn't mean to bother you, love," Killian said apologetically as he started back towards the street.

"Actually, now I wouldn't mind some company," she said softly. He looked down at her and her green eyes were shining from the lights around the harbor. There was no way he could resist her.

"Happy to oblige," he said as he sat down next to her on the bench. "You want to talk about the case?"

"It was a couple of kids. Orphans, actually. They'd been living on their own for a while and no one realized that they didn't have parents. Regina tried to ship them off to separate group homes in Boston but I managed to track down their father and he agreed to keep them." She had so much excitement in her voice at the end of the story that Killian couldn't help but smile. "I just feel like I'm really doing some good around here, you know?"

"You are, Emma," he said. "I don't think I've ever seen the mayor so upset in the entire time I've lived here."

"The mayor?" she asked. The smile fell from her face. "Do you … uh, see a lot of her?"

"Not frequently but she does like to have her hands in everything," Killian said. "She makes it hard to say no to her."

"Okay, I think I was wrong," Emma said abruptly. "I'd better get going home before Mary Margaret worries about me." She stood up and gathered her file in her arms.

Killian caught her hand in his before she could bolt. "Did I say something wrong, love?"

"Don't call me 'love'," she seethed at him as she yanked her hand away.

"Forgive me Sheriff Swan," he said formally. "I am getting whiplash from your back and forth. Here we were having a nice conversation and you suddenly want to storm off-"

"Look, whatever you're doing with the mayor is your business," she practically shouted. "I just don't want to know about it, okay?"

"Whatever I'm doing with the mayor?" he echoed. "I'm not doing anything with the mayor besides trying to stay off her radar so I can run my bar in peace."

It was Emma's turn to look down at him. She seemed to be searching his face for something and she must have found it because she sighed and sat back down next to him. "Sorry, the mayor and I just don't get along and she has had some connections with people that I care about that have been … surprising. I just assumed the worst."

"Well, let me put your mind at ease," Killian was beginning to understand what Emma was talking about. The rumors must have been true; the sheriff had literally been in bed with the mayor. "Regina is not the sort of woman that I would get involved with and I highly doubt that I am her type either. No need to worry about surprising connections between the two of us."

"Yeah, I wouldn't have thought that some other people would be her type either but that didn't stop her," Emma said.

"Well, what can I say? I'm hard to get," he joked.

Emma smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. "Well, I think we both know that's not true," she said, looking at him pointedly.

"Present company excluded, of course," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"Yes, you're just so choosy," she teased.

"In fact, I am," he said. Emma met his eyes for a moment before looking down and he could see that the light flirting had gotten a little too serious for her. He decided it was time to change the subject. "Do you want to tell me what's in the file?"

She paused for a moment. "It's my past," she said as she opened it slowly. "Those orphans today … I just had to find their father. I couldn't let them be put into the foster system the way I was."

"I had no idea," Killian said softly.

"It's not something I usually share when I first meet someone," she said with a shrug. "But it's part of who I am."

"Do you know what happened to your parents?" he asked tentatively.

"Not a clue," she said with a nervous laugh. "They dropped me at the side of the road when I was a newborn and I was found by a seven year old. Here's the article about it."

She handed him to the newspaper clipping from the date she was found. He scanned the article and looked up at her. "This isn't far from Storybrooke."

"Nope," she said. She took back the article and tucked it back into the folder. "I was able to track down the father of those kids today and I had the silly idea that maybe if I looked through this stuff again I would find a clue as to who my parents really are."

"Did you?"

She shook her head. "Of course not. Whoever they were there wasn't a trace of them. All I had was my baby blanket with my name on it."

"I'm sorry, Emma," he said sincerely.

She breathed a heavy sigh and looked at him. "I have to go now."

"You say that to me a lot," he said. He was disappointed as always that she was cutting off their time together but he couldn't help but smile that she had let him in a little bit.

"I know, but I do need to get home," she said again.

"Shall I walk you out to the street?" he offered.

"I'd like that," she accepted.

They stood up and she tucked her arm around his as they made their way away from the docks together. When they reached the street she unlinked their arms and stood up to press her lips gently to his.

"Thank you, Killian," she said.

"Can I call you sometime?" he blurted out.

Her eyes widened in surprise and she seemed to think about it for a moment. "I think that would ne okay," she finally answered.

He smiled and leaned down to kiss her cheek. "Goodnight, Emma."

"Goodnight," she said as she walked towards the loft that she shared. Killian felt the chill in the night air as soon as she was gone. He turned and started towards his own lonely apartment.

He only made it a few feet when he saw Mr. Gold coming towards him down the sidewalk. It would be useless to try and hide now.

"Killian Jones," the man said. "I was expecting you to drop off your rent to me tonight."

"Of course, Mr. Gold," Killian said. "I was just about to head back to the bar and get it."

"It seems like the lovely Miss Swan was a bit of a distraction tonight." Gold pointed in the direction that she has left. Killian bristled at hearing the pawn shop owner say her name. He had heard about his involvement in the fire that Emma had escaped from; well, saves herself and Regina from.

"Sheriff Swan," Killian corrected.

"How could I forget?"

"I'll drop by the payment first thing in the morning, is that acceptable?" Killian asked.

Mr. Gold thought for a moment. "Of course; I am a reasonable man. I wouldn't want to get in the way of whatever is blossoming between you and the Sheriff. I will see you bright and early tomorrow morning."

Killian nodded and the men went their separate ways. His previously light hearted mood had darkened considerably. He touched the prosthetic hand and for a moment he almost felt as if the missing left hand was itching to curl into a fist but it passed to quickly that he thought he must have imagined it.


	9. Episode 1x10

**Thank you for the reviews and follows and favorites! It makes me so happy to see the positive feedback.**

* * *

Emma was just about to load the supplies into the squad car when her phone buzzed and she smiled at the name displayed. She had figured Killian would be the sort of guy that would wait the standard three days before calling. He continued to surprise her.

"Hello?"

"Morning, love," Killian's voice came through the speaker. "I've been debating whether or not I should call but I figured that you probably prefer a man to not play games."

"You figured right," she said.

"Good." She heard his voice deepen with the word and she could feel the blush rise in her cheeks. What was wrong with her? "Then maybe you'll further appreciate this directness. I have the night off and I'd like to take you out tonight."

"Oh!" She was caught a bit off guard. "I can't tonight."

"Brushing me off so soon?" he asked. She could hear the levity in his voice.

"It's not that," she said. "It's just this storm. I'm going to be on call until it passes. I don't think I'd be much fun on a date."

"I understand," he said. "Maybe another time then."

"Yeah, maybe," she said. Emma hung up the phone and put it back in her pocket. She went back to her task of loading the supplies but she kept reliving the short conversation in her head. Had she been too abrupt? Did he sound disappointed?

She saw Regina approaching and was not in the mood for a lecture. "If you're looking to blame me for the storm I think you're taking things a bit far now," she said flatly.

* * *

The storm came in quickly but passed faster than Emma had expected. It was still light out when the sky cleared and the town weathered it pretty well. She responded to a couple calls about some minor property damage but all in all it wasn't even half as bad as she thought it would be.

So Emma found that she basically had the night off. Henry was at home and Mary Margaret had sent a text saying that she wasn't feeling well and was just going to take a bath and go to sleep. Other than those two Emma didn't have any other friends in the town.

But she did have an offer for a date … an offer that she definitely couldn't take up now. She said she couldn't go and if she changed her mind now then it would send a signal that she knew she didn't want to send. Truthfully, Emma had no idea what kind of message she wanted to send … or if she should be sending messages at all. There was just something about the bartender. She couldn't explain it but her gut told her to trust him while her mind was desperately trying to remind her that trusting him would only lead to more heartbreak.

Her head won out tonight. Calling him to meet up would just seem too eager.

She finished up the paperwork on her desk and shut off the lights in the station. She was hungry and Storybrooke's options were limited. There was Granny's diner, of course … but Emma wasn't really interested in round three with the mysterious writer. She could go home but she really didn't want to bother Mary Margaret if she wanted to be alone … Emma knew that feeling and she didn't feel like they were close enough yet for her to intrude.

The coffee shop had sandwiches and salads and they did make a decent hot chocolate; not as good as Granny's but they had cinnamon and whipped cream and that was all she needed. Emma figured it would be a good place to hang out for a while until she could slip in quietly without waking her roommate. She pushed open the front door and was greeted with the smell of freshly brewed coffee … and the sight of Killian Jones sitting at a table by himself, book in hand.

"Fancy running into you here," he said, putting a marker on the page he was reading and placing the book on the table.

Emma's heart raced and she had to shake her head to overcome the surprise of running into him. She had completely forgotten the simple fact that he had told her that he had the night off. Usually she was careful to avoid going to places he might be when she knew he wasn't at the Rabbit Hole but she had been so busy thinking about avoiding him that she forgot to actually avoid him.

"I wrapped up things as the station earlier than I thought," she explained and then immediately wished she hadn't told him that. "What are you doing here?"

"I was stuck inside all afternoon waiting for the storm to pass," he said. "I just got a touch of cabin fever so I decided to get out."

"Understandable," she said. "That was one hell of a rainstorm."

"Indeed it was."

"It passed a lot faster than I thought," she went on. Was she really standing here chatting about the weather with him?

"Swan?"

"What?"

"Sit down and let me buy you a cup of coffee," he said, motioning to the empty seat at his table.

She hesitated for a moment and then smiled. "Actually, I prefer cocoa. Coffee keeps me up at night."

"Is that a bad thing?" he asked with a suggestive eyebrow raise.

Emma was grateful for his innuendo because it broke some of the tension she was feeling. She ordered a cocoa and a panini and sat down to have a semi-date with Killian.

"So, not quite the storm of the century that you were hoping for?" he asked.

"I wasn't hoping for anything like that," she replied. "I just wanted to be prepared. There were a couple trees that fell and a broken car window from the debris but I think we escaped the worst of it." She looked out the window at the still evening. "Funny how it's so quiet now you'd never know it was pouring rain just a few hours ago."

"Storms are funny that way. The eye of a hurricane is strangely very quiet and calm," he said. He was also looking out the window but he seemed to be focusing on something very far away.

"Have you experienced that?" she asked.

Killian shook his head and turned back to her. "No, I just read about it." He tapped the book that he was reading. "Anything you want to know you can find out just by reading the right book."

"I don't have much time for reading," she said. "My job in Boston kept me pretty busy. Chasing down deadbeats is an around-the-clock gig."

"Hot chocolate and a sandwich!" the barista behind the counter yelled and Emma went to get up but Killian waved her off. He retrieved her order and brought it back to their small table. It was then that Emma realized she was famished. She tore off the paper on the panini and bit into it.

"I'm sure Storybrooke seems tame compared to your former home," he said.

Emma swallowed the bite of turkey and cheddar. "Actually, the town manages to keep me on my toes. I haven't really had a day yet that has been dull."

"I'm glad to hear it," he said. "I wouldn't want you to get bored and think of leaving."

"Well, my current plans are to stay put," she assured him. "Henry just seems so … unhappy. I just want to help him."

"The boy does seem to be smiling more since you came to town, love," Killian said. "I'd say you're already making a difference."

"I'm glad somebody thinks so," she said. "Regina would rather have anyone that talk to Henry be locked up." Emma took another bite of her sandwich as she rolled her eyes.

Killian chuckled at that. "She does have some unique ideas about parenting."

"Speaking of that, can I ask you a favor?"

"Anything."

"Remember that guy I told you about who rode into town on the motorcycle?" she asked.

"Of course."

"Will you let me know if he comes into your bar at all?" She put down the sandwich and took a sip of the cocoa. "There is something really odd about him but I have no idea what and now he's apparently been talking to Henry. And he still won't tell me his name."

"You've seen him another time?" Killian suddenly felt the unpleasant pang of jealousy again.

"He was in the diner this afternoon during the storm," she explained. "I mean, he's staying at Granny's so it makes sense that he would eat there but he was carrying this box around and he wouldn't tell me what was in it until I agreed to let him buy me a drink."

"You agreed to what?" Killian asked in a voice that was louder than Emma expected.

"Let him buy me a drink," she repeated.

"So you shared a beer with him at the diner?" Emma thought that he was starting to sound very strange.

"No, I thought he wanted to have a drink then but he said 'sometime' so I guess he wants to buy me a drink on another day. Maybe not at the diner?" she said. "Anyway, he did show me what was in the box and it's just a typewriter. I guess he's a writer who just came to town to-"

"Hit on you," Killian finished for her.

"Huh?"

"He's hitting on you, clear as day," he said. "You can't see that?"

"Of course I can see that," she said. Suddenly she found herself very annoyed. "He asked to buy me a drink; you think no one has ever done that before?"

"Well, of course they have, love," Killian said darkly. "I tried to take you out tonight and you begged off but in the meantime you were accepting offers from strangers who won't even tell you their name."

"What is this, jealousy?" she snapped. "We haven't even been out on a date so if I agree to let some guy buy me a drink in exchange for some information then that is not your business. At all."

"Well, maybe I bloody well wish it was," Killian blurted out. He looked down at the table after having said that and Emma sighed.

"This is exactly why I don't want to get involved with anyone. It always gets messy," she said. "I told you that I am here for Henry. This … writer seems to have taken an interest in him and I'm going to do what it takes to find out why."

"Whatever it takes?" he echoed, his gaze still fixed on the table in front of him.

"Don't insult me," she warned.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he said, plastering a false smile on his face and finally looking up at her.

"Okay, well," Emma stood up from the table. "Thanks for the sandwich and cocoa. I'd better get home and check on my roommate."

"Of course, love," he said. Killian remained in his seat smiling up at her.

"Goodnight," she said and she headed for the door.

"No kiss this time?" she heard him say quietly after her. She didn't know if he intended for her to hear it but she shot him an unappreciative look right before the door closed behind her.

She was determined to not let Killian get to her.

* * *

The next morning she sat at the small table in the loft with Mary Margaret. Obviously something had happened with David because Mary Margaret was staring at the clock like she was willing it to go faster. Emma reached out and squeezed her friend's hand.

* * *

 **Author's Note: In this fic I tried to think of how Killian's personality would change by the curse. Snow & Charming were still much like their FTL selves but with a little less integrity and courage. Killian is likewise much like his pirate/gentleman self but without the self control that we see on the show. Plus, I just love the jealous trope :)**


	10. After 1x11

**Sorry for the delay! Thanks again for all the reviews! You guys have no idea how much they motivate me! This chapter is a bit short but another update is coming soon!**

* * *

It was a slow night at the Rabbit Hole. So slow that Killian's only customer just paid his bill and was walking out the door when he felt his phone buzz in his pocket. He looked down at his phone and frowned. Why was Ruby calling him?

"Hello?" he said as he put the phone his ear.

"Killian, it's Ruby," she said. "Look, I tried Mary Margaret but her phone went straight to voicemail and I wasn't sure who else to call."

"What is it?" he asked with a slight feeling of alarm.

"I just don't want her to get into any trouble with the mayor…"

"Ruby," Killian interrupted. "Tell me what's wrong."

"Emma's here at the diner," Ruby said, lowering her voice. "She's been drinking for a few hours..."

He let out a sigh of relief. "Put a grilled cheese and some onions rings in a bag and I'll be right over."

He tucked his phone back into his pocket and decided that the lack of customers had afforded him this fortuitous opportunity to help out Emma. The last time he saw her it hadn't gone the way he had imagined it would. It seemed like he was always going one step forward, two steps back with this woman. Most women he would lose interest in if he had to put in any kind of effort but he was drawn to the blonde sheriff in a way that he couldn't explain … or resist.

He turned out the lights and locked up the bar before making his way over to the diner. It was late and they would be closing soon so luckily there were only a few people inside the place. Killian nodded to Ruby when he stepped through the door and she motioned to the booth at the back where Emma was sitting alone, half-finished glass of beer in front of her.

"Care for some company?" he asked quietly.

Emma dropped her head down and Killian heard her laugh. "Of course you're here. You seem to turn up everywhere I go," she waved at the seat across from her. "By all means, please sit down."

Killian slid into the booth as she raised her head back up to look at him. "Why are you here drinking this cheap excuse for beer?"

"Because I fucked up today," she admitted. "I had a drinking buddy but he left a while ago so now it's just me."

"I see," he said. "Would you like to tell me about it?"

"Nope!" she replied. Emma tipped back the rest of the contents of her drink and slammed the empty glass back on the table. "I'm going home."

"That sounds like a great idea," he said. "I'll walk you there."

"I don't need your help, Killian," Emma slurred as she pushed herself out of the booth and struggled to get her jacket on.

"I didn't say you did. But I'm headed that way anyway and I have this annoying habit of wanting to help a damsel in distress," he told her.

"I'm not distressed," she said. She glared at him for a moment. "Fine. Let's go."

Emma headed for the front doorRuby handed a brown paper bag to Killian and he discreetly tucked it under his arm as he followed Emma out the front door of the diner. She didn't look back to see if he was coming along. Killian just shook his head and tried to keep up as she walked with purpose toward the loft.

She slowed down a bit as they approached the front door and they climbed the stairs to the loft entrance. "What's that for?" she asked, pointing to the bag.

"For you, of course," Killian answered.

"I guess you thought of everything," she said with a smile. She fished her keys out of her pocket and after a few tries she was able to unlock the door. "Come on in."

He hesitated for a moment, surprised that she was inviting him in after the chilly greeting that she gave him in the diner. He was trying his best to act casual but he couldn't deny the thrill it gave him to be invited into her home. There wasn't any sign of her roommate but Killian noted that there was an upstairs and he wasn't sure whose bed it was that he could see from the kitchen.

"I thought you might be in need of something to soak up all that beer," he said as he placed the bag down on the kitchen counter.

"Who called you?" she asked.

"Ruby," he told her. No point in lying about it. "She was just worried about you and your roommate didn't pick up."

"Shouldn't you be at the bar right now?" Emma asked as she tore into the bag. He was glad to see that Emma was a curious and hungry drunk rather than an angry, accusatory one.

He shrugged. "As luck would have it my only customer was just walking out the door when Ruby called me."

Emma bit into an onion ring and seemed to be thinking about his answer. "So you closed just to come and make sure I was okay?"

"That I did," he confirmed with a nod.

" _Why_?"

Killian was startled by her tone. She sounded … angry? No, not angry … shocked, maybe. It was a mixture of emotions that he couldn't comprehend. He wasn't quite sure how to answer her question. "If Ruby was concerned enough to call me I felt like I had to help. Quite frankly, I was expecting a lot worse when I arrived."

"Yeah, I'm a pro at handling my liquor," she laughed. "I just don't understand why she called you and why you even came to help me."

"Does it surprise you that I did?"

"I'm just … I'm not used to people doing stuff for me, I guess," Emma said. She quickly looked away from him and took a bite of the grilled cheese.

"That's disappointing to hear, love," Killian said. He spoke calmly to her but inside it was taking all of his strength to resist the urge to take her into his arms and stroke her hair until any thought of someone letting her down could be banished. The effect this woman had on him was like nothing he had ever felt before but he knew he had to gain her trust, something he was not especially good at doing.

"Before Henry brought me here I think I was an expert at being disappointed," she told him. "I had a shitty day and it's probably going to be a while until I can see Henry again. I just wanted to numb the disappointment a bit, you know?"

"I do," he said. "I know that feeling quite well."

"I'm sure you see it a lot in your line of work," she said.

Killian laughed. "Only about every day. Which begs the question; why didn't you just come to the bar? If drinking was your plan I have a better atmosphere and a better selection."

"I didn't want to see you," she admitted. "We didn't exactly part on good terms the last time we saw each other and I didn't want to make a bad day worse."

"I see."

"But I'm glad you came to the diner and got me to leave," she said. "Thank you."

"Anytime, love." Killian smiled and scratched nervously behind his ear. "And now that I've seen you home safely I must bid you goodnight."

He nodded a goodbye to her and turned for the door.

"Killian," she called after him. He stopped and looked back at her. "Maybe you should try asking me out on that date again."

He grinned at her. "Perhaps I will."

He left the apartment and practically danced down the steps. For the first time in as long as he could remember he actually felt like things were starting to go well for him. Even the biting chill of the cold February air couldn't ruin his mood.

* * *

 **I specifically timed this update for a reason ... for those who recall, Skin Deep takes place on a certain holiday ... I promise there will be an update by Sunday night :)**


	11. Valentine's Day, Episode 1x12

**Happy Valentine's Day all! Enjoy this chapter set during the only holiday the show has ever mentioned! (And have some smut!)**

* * *

The break in at Gold's house and his subsequent attack on the culprit had kept Emma sufficiently busy for the majority of the day. After he was securely locked in the cell and all the necessary paperwork had been completed Emma left the station feeling pretty content that there was only about an hour left to suffer of another disappointing Valentine's Day.

Emma envied the women who seemed to not care about the holiday and maybe on the exterior she looked like she was one of them … but if she was honest with herself she had always wanted to have a Valentine. She would never admit it to anyone else but the day always made her wish that she had someone special to spend it with. The idea of flowers and chocolates and all the romantic trappings of the holiday made her feel like she was missing out. Even this year she could have spent at least part of the day with Henry if she hadn't screwed up so badly.

Ruby, Ashley and Mary Margaret had asked her to join in on a Valentine's Day girl's night out but Emma declined the invitation as fast as she could. She knew that would mean going for drinks at The Rabbit Hole and there was absolutely no way she was going show her face at Killian's bar on a holiday dedicated to romance. At the moment she was hopelessly clueless as to where she stood with him. She had tried desperately to remember the conversation that she had with the handsome bartender the other night in her loft but the specifics escaped her. Apparently she had drank just enough so that the details were fuzzy.

She remembered that the conversation was pleasant and that he had picked up some food for her but she was blanking on what they talked about. One memory did stand out to her… the way he smiled before we walked out her front door. It had been one of those dashing, dangerous grins that he was obviously an expert at and it was seared into her memory. But now it was a couple days later and Emma hadn't heard from him or run into him or anything. Between that and the fact that Regina wasn't allowing her to see Henry left Emma felling very alone … and very unloved.

The night was cold and crisp and at this late hour the streets of Storybrooke were empty. No doubt everyone was either celebrating with their loved ones or trying to pretend that they didn't care. Emma walked up to her yellow bug and her heart skipped a beat when she and saw that inside, laying on her driver's seat was a dozen long stem red roses. The doors were still locked and she had to smile at the audacity of breaking into the sheriff's car to leave flowers. She quickly unlocked the car and swung open the door to pick up the small folded card that was attached to the bouquet.

 _Meet me at the bar._ And on the back side of the note: _Please._

Emma deliberated for about half a second before she hopped into the bug and steered herself over to The Rabbit Hole. She was through second guessing herself. When she was investigating Regina she knew that what she was doing was wrong but she had ignored her instincts. This time she was going to trust her gut and right now it was telling her that going to see Killian on Valentine's Day was exactly what she should do. She parked the car and pulled her knitted beanie off her head. She ran her fingers through her hair and examined her reflection in the rearview mirror for a moment before deciding that she didn't have anything with her to make herself up anyway so she might as well just go in as she was.

The bar was packed and it was still a few hours before closing time. Emma's hopes fell a little bit when she spotted Killian behind the crowded bar. With this many customers it would probably be hours until she could be alone with him. He was busy but it only took a few moments until he met her eyes across the room. He leaned over and spoke briefly to the other bartender, threw away an empty beer bottle and walked directly over to where she stood.

"I'm glad you came," he said. Emma couldn't help but smile.

"Maybe I'm just here to arrest you for breaking into my car," she teased.

"Did you bring the handcuffs?" he said with a mischievous raised eyebrow. She rolled her eyes. "Come on, love. Let's go." He took her hand and started towards the door.

"Go?" she asked, looking around at the capacity crowd that was filling the room. "What about the bar?"

"I have the rest of the night off," he told her with a grin.

Emma took one last look back at the crowd around the bar and shrugged. "If you say so."

He led her out of the bar and down the street to an apartment building. "I'd like to spend some time with you somewhere other than where one of us works," he explained. "As long as that's okay with you."

Emma looked up at the building and nodded. She followed him inside to a door on the second floor and waited while he got out his keys to unlock it. He flipped on the lights as they walked in and she was surprised at how welcoming the apartment was. The exposed brick walls were adorned with some eclectic pieces of art and he had shelves that were scattered across the room holding books and other items that looked like they had been collected over time rather than just bought from a store for their aesthetic value. There was a large sofa and a loveseat that had a variety of throws and pillows.

"Make yourself comfortable," Killian requested. Emma took off her coat and sat down on the couch as he disappeared into the kitchen. She heard him opening and closing the refrigerator and cabinets and wondered what he was up to.

She found out soon enough as he reappeared with an ice bucket and two champagne glasses. He placed them on the coffee table in front of her and held up one finger indicating for her to wait for his next trip. When he returned he had the bottle of champagne tucked under his arm and an assortment of chocolate covered strawberries that he placed on the table. Her mouth dropped open. Flowers, chocolates, champagne … it was the kind of Valentine's Day that she had always imagined but never actually thought she would have.

"Too much?" he asked, the nervous tone in his voice clearly audible.

"No," she assured him. "Actually, it's perfect."

He gave her a relieved smile and popped the cork on the champagne bottle. He poured them each a glass and held his up for a toast. "To finally making it to our first date."

She smiled at that and clinked her glass against his. She took a sip of the champagne, letting the bubbles tickle her nose and appreciating that he had spared no expense on the bottle. She still hadn't gotten over her shock at the effort he had made. She took a bite out of one of the strawberries and he did the same. "What were you going to do with all this if I didn't show up tonight?" she asked.

"This probably would have ended up being my lunch tomorrow," he laughed. He put down the other half of his dessert and leaned back on the couch. "I have to admit, I had half convinced myself that you wouldn't show."

"Killian, I have to ask you something," she said, putting her glass down. "It's been bothering me since the other night."

"Anything, love."

"What did we talk about?" she blurted out. "When you made sure I got home from the diner? I mean, I know you weren't there for very long but I just can't remember!"

"Oh, that night?" Killian smiled. "Well, you just went on for a good while about how devilishly handsome I am, how you can't bear to spend another moment apart from me, how much you've been dreaming about kissing me again…"

"Liar," Emma said as she playfully shoved his knee.

"Okay, honestly we didn't really have much of a discussion," he told her. "You just told me that you had a bad day and you didn't want to talk about it."

"And?"

"You did say that I should try asking you out again."

"And you waited until Valentine's Day," Emma said. "That was bold of you."

"What can I say? I'm a romantic at heart I suppose," Killian smiled. "I figured if I gave you time to think about it you would talk yourself out of accepting."

"So you broke into my car instead."

"I admit nothing, Sheriff," he said with a wink. "Perhaps that was just magic."

"Of course it was," she said. "So, what now?"

"I hadn't thought that far," he admitted. "When I came up with this idea I was convinced you either wouldn't show or you would run out the door when you saw all this." He waved his hand toward the champagne and strawberries.

"I'm not running out the door now," she said, looking into his eyes. The world outside his apartment faded away along with all the worries and responsibilities that came with it. Emma leaned forward and let her fingertips trace over the stubble on his jaw. Killian didn't move as she shifted her body to be closer to him.

"No, you're not." His voice was deep and she could practically feel his pulse quicken as she straddled his hips. When her lips met his he circled his arm around her waist to pull her down onto his lap. The kiss started tentatively but they both gave in quickly to the passion that was threatening to consume them, their mouths opening and devouring each other. Her hands were in his hair, fingers raking through the dark locks and trying to pull him even closer to her. Her hips ground into his and she could feel that his desire was rising as rapidly as her own.

Her mouth left his and her traveled down his jaw until her tongue found a sensitive spot just below his ear that had him thrusting his hips up to get more friction. She breathed in the intoxicating scent of him and pushed herself back so she could peel off the red turtleneck that had suddenly become suffocating. Killian froze for a moment and looked up at her with an incredulous expression on his handsome face. Emma took his hand and guided it to her breast which was apparently all the encouragement he needed. He sat up from his reclined position and swiftly flipped Emma onto her back on the soft couch cushion. He flashed a devilish smile and lowered his dark head to her breast. His hand pulled back the lacy fabric of her bra as his mouth drew in her nipple and his teeth gently grazed the hardened peak. A shot of pure desire went through her and she arched her back into his touch.

His prosthetic hand anchored at her waist while his mouth continued to lavish attention on her breasts. Her eyes closed and her fingers clawed at his shirt to untuck it from his pants. He sat up and to pull off the black tee shirt and tossed it away. He smiled at her as he unzipped her boots and pulled them off one at a time. Just as he was about to resume his appreciation of her body she placed both hands on his chest and held him where he was.

"Killian, wait," she said. The brief moment without contact had been just long enough for the familiar doubts to creep into her mind.

"What is it, love?" he asked, sitting back on his heels. His voice dripped with concern and only a hint of frustration.

"I … I don't know."

"We can stop," he assured her. "Do you want to stop?"

She nodded but didn't say a word as she pushed herself up on her elbows. Killian sat back on the couch, running his hand over his face. "I'm sorry."

He looked at her. "Don't be sorry, Emma."

"But I…"

"It's okay," he assured her. "If this ever happens then I want you to be sure that it's what you want." He reached over and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "Do you want to leave?"

"No," she said honestly.

A smile spread across his face. "I'm happy to hear that," he said. "We can do whatever you like. More champagne? Shall we watch TV? Maybe a movie?"

"It's been a long day," she said. "I'm actually kind of tired."

He stood up and held out his hand to her. She took it and let him lead her for the second time that night. They went down a short hallway that led to his bedroom. The room had the same welcoming feeling as the rest of the apartment and in the middle of it was a large four poster bed.

"You're welcome to spend the night with me and I promise I'll be a perfect gentleman," he said. 'Would you like me to get your shirt?"

Emma suddenly was aware that she was topless except for her bra. She smiled at him and kissed his cheek. "I think yours might be more comfortable," she said.

"Let me get you a fresh one, then," he said. "You don't want the one that I was working in all night."

He produced a clean black cotton v-neck tee shirt for her and she pulled it over her head. She caught the look in his eye when he saw her dressed in his shirt and she blushed and looked away. "Which side do you sleep on?" she asked, pointing to the bed.

"Usually in the middle so you pick whichever side you prefer," he said.

Emma walked to the far side of the bed and pulled back the comforter. "Is your bed always made like this or were you expecting to get some action tonight?"

"I had hoped," he admitted. "But I'll take your company any way I can get it."

Emma smiled. "Turn around?" she requested.

He complied and she shimmied out of her jeans. She folded them and placed them on a chair before sliding into the cool sheets and pulling the comforter over her.

He turned back around and his gaze traveled over the place that she lay in his bed. He shook his head as if to clear his thoughts. "Do you mind if I take off my pants?" he asked her.

"Go ahead."

"Fair is fair," he said, indicating that she should avert her eyes. She turned away and heard him unbuckle his belt and remove his jeans. He shut off the light before lying down in the bed next to her. She shifted to her side and slid over so that she could rest his head on his chest. She ran her fingers through the coarse hair on his chest and he placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"Goodnight, Emma."

"'Night, Killian," she echoed. She closed her eyes and relaxed into him. His fingers stroked through her hair and she found that sleep came easily.

* * *

Emma woke with a start and for a moment she didn't know where she was. It was dark in the room but she quickly remembered that she was in Kilian's bed when she felt his body behind hers. At some point during the night they must have shifted positions so that he was spooned behind her. She lay still and waited for the familiar urge to leave in the middle of the night but it didn't come. In fact, the longer she lay silent in the darkened bedroom the more comfortable she felt. The heat of his body was enticing and she snuggled in closer.

He sighed a bit in his sleep and his arm came around her waist to hold her tight. Emma smiled and shifted again, rubbing herself back against him. She could feel his body respond as the growing proof pressed into her backside. Something came over her. She felt mischievous and she wanted to further test how his body reacted to her.

She arched her back and pushed her ass firmly into him to draw another sinful sound from him. The more she felt him harden the more it made her aware of her own wanting. There was a throbbing ache between her legs and her heart was pounding. She leaned gently back into him to roll him onto his back and her hand dipped beneath the sheets. She hesitated for a second at the waistband of his boxers before slipping her fingers underneath the elastic.

His hand caught her wrist. "Curious, darling?"

"I thought you were asleep," she whispered. She pressed the length of her body against him and kissed his shoulder.

"I was but I'll never object to being woken up this way," he said as he let go of her wrist. "By all means, continue what you were doing."

Emma nipped playfully at his shoulder and slid her hand down until she was able to circle her fingers around him. He groaned as she slowly stroked along his length.

"What's changed, love?" he asked.

Emma slid down the bed and sat back on her knees. "My resolve to keep denying myself the things that I want," she said. "It's crumbled." With that she tugged on his boxers until he was free from the cotton fabric and she bent down to take him into her mouth.

"Emma …" Killian's voice was strangled as her tongue swirled over his tip. Her hand and mouth moved up and down the length of him in a steady rhythm that had curses falling from his lips. His fingers tangled into her curls and he gently guided her head to the rhythm and speed that had him on the very edge of paradise. She licked and teased and sucked as he alternated between praises and unintelligible moans until he finally cried out with the ecstasy of his climax.

She wiped a stray drop of his release from her lips and lay her head back down on the pillow next to him. She watched with a strange sense of pride as he struggled to regain his senses. When he finally did he looked over at her with a lazy smile.

"I want to taste you again," he said in a low voice as he nuzzled into her neck and began doing wicked things with his tongue that had her aching for him.

"Please," she breathed as she arched into him.

He pushed up the bottom of the tee shirt and kissed his way down her stomach to nibble at her hip bone. Emma shifted impatiently on the bed as he slowly pulled her satin underwear down her long legs. Once she was free of them her legs fell open and Killian mercifully ceased his slow torture and lowered his head to where she needed him.

"Bloody hell, Emma," he said. "You taste like heaven."

He savored her slowly, almost leisurely. His tongue lapped at her and she moaned at each new sensation that his mouth created for her. Her fingers gripped the sheets as the pleasure began to coil deep inside. He slid two fingers inside her as his tongue flicked over her most sensitive spot. She cried out his name as she tumbled over the edge and he continued slow, steady licks until the last trembling wave of her orgasm had passed.

"You are gorgeous to watch," he said simply before he got up to retrieve a towel for her. She cleaned up, pulled her underwear back on and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I should probably go," she said. "I have a prisoner at the station so I need to be there early in the morning."

"You really know how to make a man feel used, Swan," Killian said with a laugh. He sat down next to her and took her hand. The laughter was gone and he looked at her earnestly. "Stay this time. Please."

She really wanted to. It had been far too long she had spent the night with a man that actually cared about her. "Okay."

He smiled again and kissed her hand. "Come on then," he said happily.

He tucked her against him again and covered them both with the sheets. Emma pushed away all the reservations that she had and allowed herself to relax into him again.

"Thank you, Killian," she whispered into the dark.

He kissed her forehead. "Happy Valentine's Day, Emma."

They were both tired and sated and it was only moments until sleep claimed them.

* * *

In the morning Killian explained to her that despite being a bartender he had a strange habit of being up with the dawn. That worked out well for Emma because she had to get home and showered and back at the station as quickly as possible. In the light of day Emma had lost all the boldness that she felt in the dark of night so in the morning they parted with little more than a chaste kiss.

But lack of nerve surprisingly didn't translate to any kind of regret. Quite the opposite, Emma actually found that she was in a cheery mood as she ate lunch and tried to get Gold to give up his favor for a pastrami sandwich. When Regina showed up with Henry and offered to let Emma spend some time with him in exchange for a moment alone with the prisoner she accepted the deal. Following her instincts was paying off and for the first time in a long time she actually felt like she picture a happy future.


	12. Episode 1x13

**I had a bit of inspiration strike so (even tho it's been a looong while) here is a new chapter!**

* * *

Emma was relieved that Mary Margaret had finally told her about her involvement with David. Her roommate wasn't great at being subtle and despite her own problems; she wanted to be there for her friend. Now she might need her more than ever since David was going to be telling Katheryn about the affair. Honesty was always the best policy but that wouldn't stop the fact that feelings were about to be hurt and Mary Margaret would probably need a friend in her corner when everything was out in the open.

In the meantime, Emma had her own problems to worry about. The night she shared with Killian kept replaying in her mind and she had almost forgotten about her agreement to let the stranger take her for a drink. She had tried to get out of it by refusing to go with him without knowing his name but he had countered her excuse by telling her – middle initial and everything. Now August Booth was expecting to take her for a drink after work. Emma was finding it hard to ignore the little bit of guilt she felt in even thinking about getting a drink with another man. Maybe it was time she took her own advice and just be honest about it.

She took out her phone, tapped a message out and hesitated for just a moment before sending it.

 _The stranger has a name – August._

She waited a few moments and saw that Killian was typing a reply.

 _Is that so? Any progress on learning anything else about him?_

 _I'm going to have a drink with him at Granny's after work today to see what I can find out._

Emma practically held her breath while waiting for a response.

 _Best of luck to you then. Fancy a better drink after?_

She smiled and breathed a sigh of relief. _I'd love that._

* * *

The day was going even better than Emma had hoped. She'd been honest with Killian and he had understood, the "drink" with August turned out to be water at some strange well and, best of all, she had found Henry's book and been so happy to see the smile on his face when she returned it to him. Her own smile was almost as big as his as she walked down Main Street to go and meet Killian. He wasn't tending the bar tonight so she headed straight for his apartment.

She ran her fingers quickly through her hair to smooth her curls and pulled off her scarf before knocking on his door. A few moments passed but the door didn't open. She looked down at her phone to check the time but realized she had no idea what Killian's schedule looked like today. Just as she was debating if she should knock again or send him a text she heard the bolt turn in the door.

Killian greeted her with a dark expression. "Hello, Swan."

"Hey," she said tentatively. "Are you okay?"

"Course, love," he said. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You … uh," she searched for the right words. "You don't look great." His hair was tousled as if it hadn't seen a comb today and there was no mistaking the glassy look in his eyes. Emma had seen her fair share of drunks in her line of work and Killian was showing all the signs of having had one too many. And if his appearance wasn't enough the half empty bottle of cheap rum in his hand was a dead giveaway.

"Sorry to disappoint," he slurred.

Emma started wrapping the scarf around her neck again. "Yeah, well, clearly you forgot that we had plans so I'm just going to go. Call me when you sober up." She looked him up and down once more and started for the door.

"Oh, yes. I'm the one that had ruined our evening," Killian called after her.

"Excuse me?" she said, turning to glare at him.

"To be quite honest, it surprises me to see you here at all," he said.

"I thought nothing could surprise you," Emma shot at him.

"Well, Emma you seem to be able to accomplish it," he admitted. "What with your constant back and forth. One day you might be here in my bed and another you might be straddled on the back of a motorcycle with some other man."

"I've told you before not to insult me," she said, keeping her anger concealed as best she could. "I hope you regret this in the morning."

"I 'spose you're the expert on regrets, aren't you, Swan?"

"People usually disappoint me," she said. "I guess this time's no different."

"I know the feeling of being disappointed," Killian countered. "But I guess the writer doesn't disappoint, does he?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" Emma shouted, no longer holding back her fury. "I told you that I was meeting him today. I even planned to meet you after so you wanna tell me what the fucking problem is?"

"I don't like being lied to," he said.

"And how did I lie to you?"

"I came to Granny's, Swan," he said, his own voice raising to match hers. "I know that's not where you were with him. And if you weren't there and I know that you weren't at my bar then where the hell did you go with him?"

"What makes you think you have any right to spy on me?" she demanded.

"I was concerned, love," he told her in a calmer voice. "I just wanted to casually walk in to see if your mystery date was bothering you. To you needed rescuing."

"Well, no need for that," she said. "I'm not some damsel in distress. I don't need you or anyone to rescue me. Ever."

"Right," Killian sneered. "No need to worry about me trying to do that again. You can ride off with anyone you please to who knows where and if your plan to shut everyone out works then no one will even notice if you never come back."

Emma took a step back and ran into the wall behind her. Her mouth dropped open and his words hit her like a punch to the gut. It was as if all her fears and insecurities had been exposed to him and he knew the exact words to cut her to the core. She looked him in the eye and noted that at least he had the decency to look ashamed of what he had just said.

Emma closed her mouth, squared her shoulders and walked to the exit without a word. She heard his apologies behind her but she wasn't interested in anything he had to say. Over the last couple of days everything had been going so well that Emma had almost let her guard down. She was actually kind of grateful that Killian's harsh accusations reminded her that she needed to keep her focus on Henry.

When she opened the door to the loft she saw Mary Margaret curled up on her bed. Apparently her day wasn't the happy ending she was looking for either. Emma was thankful that her roommate wasn't in the mood to talk but she welcomed the quiet presence next to her on the bed. Both of them were silently replaying the events that had led to their mutual heartbreak and resolving to never let that kind of pain in again.

* * *

 **I apologize for the angst. After such a long time since the last update I feel kinda bad about that ... but the spoilers are so good that I just couldn't ignore the muse telling me to write more of this story!**


	13. Episode 1x14

Emma had spent the past couple days determined to forget her encounter with Killian. Actually, it was more like she was determined to forget _Killian_. She could not believe the way he had spoken to her. It infuriated her every time she thought about it. In a way she was glad, though. He might be handsome but now that she had seen his true colors she had no reason or desire to seek him out. She just hoped that she could avoid him for as long as it took.

Miner's Day provided that distraction. Emma figured that with a town celebration she would have enough minor disputes pop up to keep her occupied and the festive spirit of everyone in town would mean Killian was too busy to leave the bar.

Unfortunately, the day provided too much distraction. Kathryn Nolan was missing and as much as Emma couldn't believe that David had something to do with it, the evidence she had in front of her said that he lied. Emma sat back in the chair of the dimly lit office and sighed. Her so-called superpower was failing her hard in this town. David said he hadn't spoken with his wife since the day before but the file in Emma's hand was spelled out in black and white that he had. How could she have missed that?

On top of everything else now she had a blackout in town to deal with. As far as problems go, this was one actually a welcome one. A blackout just required the power company to investigate, locate the source of the problem, and fix whatever was broken. Easy.

Emma heard the door to the station open and footsteps coming toward her office.

"What?" she snapped. It was the last person she wanted to see.

"I know you don't want to see me," Killian started.

"Very perceptive," she interrupted. "What can the sheriff's office do for you?"

"I'm not here for any police assistance."

"Then sorry, I'm busy and I have no time for you," she said firmly. She crossed her arms over her chest and shot him a challenging glare. "Maybe you haven't noticed but a shit storm landed in my lap today and it keeps getting worse."

"Yes, I heard about Ms. Nolan," he replied softly. He shifted on his feet and looked down. "And you're right, my timing is terrible. This is just the first free moment when I've had enough courage ... I'll come back at a better time."

"Free moment?" she asked. "It's Miner's Day. I figured business would be booming."

"Well, it was. Until the power went out. My backup generator is out of commission and all the revelry seemed to move to the streets anyway so I locked the doors for the night."

"And you decided to come here and what, see if I wanted to hear from you? You are not stupid – you know how much I have going on today," she paused and looked him up and down. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize," he said plainly. He stopped looking at the floor and looked directly at her instead. "I was incredibly out of line and hurtful and I'm ashamed. I ruined … whatever we had … and I am genuinely sorry."

Emma chuckled. "Yeah, I'm sure you regret it. I mean, at the rate we were going you probably would have gotten laid by the end of the week."

Killian frowned. "It's not about that, Swan."

"Sure it isn't."

"Is it so hard to believe that I actually cared about you? _Care_ about you."

"Seriously?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. "You are the one who told me that apparently I shut people out so much that if I were to go missing no one would even care." She felt her eyes stinging with the threat of tears but she held them back. She would not cry, not in front of him.

"I'm so very sorry, love."

"I have asked you not to call me love."

He blinked. "Emma, I cannot express how sorry I am or how guilty I feel. I felt jealous and threatened and I chose to be weak. I drank until I didn't feel anything and then you turned up at my door and I behaved terribly. I'm not asking for your forgiveness, I don't deserve that. I just wanted you to know that I was wrong."

Emma put her head back on the chair and focused on the ceiling for several minutes. Killian didn't move and she wondered how long he would stand there without her acknowledging what he had said. Her mind was racing. He seemed sincere but then David hadn't betrayed a hint of deception when she questioned him earlier that day. She had always trusted her instincts but there was so much doubt creeping into her mind today that she didn't know what was real anymore.

"Thank you for the apology," she said, finally sitting up and looking him in the eye. "But I don't know if I can forgive you."

"That's fair."

"I'm really busy at the moment," she continued. "I need you to leave so I can focus."

"As you wish," Killian said and he made a small gesture like a bow before he left the room. Emma felt a small tug in her heart at the phrase. She watched as we walked towards the exit and she let her mind wander for a brief moment. If she forgave him what would happen between them? Did he deserve forgiveness? Would he ever speak to her that way again?

 _Probably_ , she thought. She shook her head as if she could clear away all thoughts of him. She had a case to solve and she didn't like what the evidence said. She needed to figure out what to do next.


End file.
